Some poetry by Antwan Towner

Sorry I have not updated the poetry section, but here are a few oldies.

POETRY


With Her....
By Antwan Towner....
.. ..
.. ..
With her, sex was like stepping on fresh snow.
I never knew if I would slip or fall or simply listen to the gentle crunch of something smooth and beautiful.
I don’t know what it is about her that made me want to see her naked for the first time, completely uninhibited and willing to try something new.
She was calm yet sweet and fiery, like those little red candies I ate as a boy.
She was unleashed and dominant, but still willing to be chained briefly by the right master.
Step by step through the snow I walked ever so gently not to fall.
Although she looked soft and elegant she harbored the hardness of cement underneath her shiny skin, ready to crack facial bones with one fail swoop.
Her illusion was deep, but I could still walk through her anytime I looked ahead.
.. ..
The morning was always cold like the sheets that catch the breeze when the window is open for too long.
Like a rare but icy day in ....Portland.. ..Oregon.....
.. ..
The Nights were always surprising on the occasion I would spot her in the crowds of fresh haircuts, wet dresses and flashing lights. She could be anywhere.
.. ..
The simple thing to do was to praise those sheets and smile; instead of starring at them blankly with a slight look of disgust. For some reason, starring like that seemed to make the flicker of the candle seem less daunting and the room a bit brighter.
.. ..
Thoughts of her made me a mannequin in the mall.
.. ..
With her is a decision among decisions, from now on I will choose more wisely.



I want you to be alive for me.
See the ocean often , smell the mountain air.
Travel your planet, and see the world that belongs to you.

-----

I'm sometimes an evil man,
But I'm filled with love.
So selfish at times
An intentional being.
On the train I look around
For someone I know,
But there is no one.
Just young lovers kissing
Happy tattooed arms
And the distant chattering of children in awe.


Off to see the sea

Would you rather have
a moldable piece of clay
or a brick?
A sea full of sea
or salt?

Would you rather be able to see?
Or know the difference between
light and dark-ness?

Would you rather say
you knew me or
would you rather say you know me?

To see is a wonderful thing
And to wonder is
a thing of the sea;

For the sea is to see
a wonderful thing,
And to dream
is the thing
that is me.


-Antwan t


Being afraid of dogs
May be a result of having the blood of a slave.
I wonder what genes change when trauma takes place for hundreds of years.
My president is black and that is fabulous, but it doesn't change the fact that I have the blood of a slave.
I can live in virtual reality all I want, and that's all great, but it still does not change the fact that I have the blood of a slave.
I am black, I am succesful, and I am happy. I am awake, I am aware, I am concscious. I am priveledged, I am grateful, I am free; but it still does not change the fact that my blood comes from a slave.
Who's going to cry for them?
Who's going to redeem for their misfortunes?
Who will remind the future of these terrible truths?
I will.
I will.
I will.
Because my soul cries the tears of blood from a slave.


ANTWANS DATE

Getting popcorn with a girl is like kicking a baby in the mouth. I mean no one should ever do it- but it sounds fun. Just kidding - buy really...
Just when you think about ordering a small because it just enough for you and you're trying to save money- and she already said she didn't want any, you think again, and you remember the last time you ordered a small, she ate more than you, even though she said she didn't want any or did she say " I don't really want any."? Hinting she wanting to be romantic- Either way you just didn't get enough popcorn and fucking pissed u off. But not really- becausem you where still looking to get a kiss, anyway-


Why You bug me:

you bug me because you have presented yourself in a way that givese no other option but to love you.

she was alluring as a good Michael Jackson video after a glass of red wine.

her way was silent but screaming. she could scream so loud without saying a word. like a black and white photograph of flowers in front of a rainbow.
her eyes where so drawn and openly complex. her swagger was stiff unless she was with him. he made her smile.

she was so stuck in one place, like a castle with it's door broke open. weak but still standing.

some say the best time to attack a kingdom is when it is weak. philosophers and alchemists seem to think different; that to break something down at it's weakest point is simply breaking yourself down and not allowing the change to occur within;
they think that the best time
to enter is when the door is open.

this conundrum speaks openly and flowing as a white lace curtain lightly pinned to an open window. a ghost house reighned. the black door slammed shut as the lights go dim and I prepare my dream.

thinking of the guitar playing teacher in second grade playing played out Elvis songs badly. "the writting on it, address unknown...". man that shit sucked. and now I know why; this shit sucks. no one likes waiting.
the philosopher said that "infinite patience produces immediate results.", sure, let my bladder tell that to his, and we'll see who can listen and understand better.

shhh! the dream is about to start!

(....zzzzzzzzz.....)

-Antwan Towner



"COMPLETE" by antwan towner

d

I did not come to this earth to claim you as my property.
I did not come here for you or anyone else to claim me as their property either.
I have come to teach and to learn, and to give and to absorb; but I did not come to lay down and be trampled upon by the careless.
I am wise and respected, and I have much to learn and teach.
my actions speak loudly, and my volume is apropriate.
my tone is genuine, and my inflections pure. I mean no harm, but if tested my hand shall be forced.
I can be brutal if misunderstood, even if merely to prove a point when I deem it necessary.
I am open and kind, peaceful and inteligent.
if tested, my strength reighns in thoughts of past peoples interactions with me.
kindness as weakness is truly tested, and poor as any type of description for my interactions.
my love is pure, but not limitless when mistreated.
my love is strong, and limitless when handled with care.


faith in something or nothing does not have to be a thin thread, ready to snap.
even a desert is vast, and the ocean is deep. but you and your dreams are full of life. -Antwan Towner

your pussy makes my mouth water.
I think of you all the time.
your presence makes me forget the past and focus on the future.
your absence fills my lonely time with black and white portraits.
with you my time us filled with colorful videographic imagery surpasable by none


-to hear you laugh
creates a vibration in me that feels somewhat like movement closer to the source.
it's like the number zero, and we've had it here all along, we've heard it times before, we pass it by, day by day-
until that smile, that laugh causes one to remember that it is nothing without zero.
there are no other numbers that exist without it, therefore all numbers owe their mere existance to zero, for zero makes them understandable.
zero gives them life, like a laugh gives a smile, and a smile gives a smirk, and a smirk gives a frown and a frown gives a damn.
keep, smiling, keep laughing, keep moving forward, positively forward and don't stop, and never give up until infinity because you and me aren't nothing, we are something, something special, something invisible wrapped in a meat suit, simply to just understand that we come from nothing to something and from that something to something else, a new vibration, beyond beautiful, indivisible and justifyable to all.

-anywan towner

rose soto

can I have your permission for something special?

can I love you in secret;
like I loved you the first day I saw you?

can I be proud that your children have a wise mother?

and when your boyfriend protects you with his strength, can I smile because you protect him with your heart better than he knows?

can I think you're pretty everday?

and if you decide to marry,
will you forgive me for being
incapable to comprehend
a match as infinitely sweet
as that which you project?

and in all of that,
let you know that I am
truly happy to know you?

an exerpt from
"complete"
a book of loves
by Antwan Towner

a book of lost loves, but love is never really lost is it? sometimes it is misplaced or ill directed, or mis apropriated, misguided, or under appreciated... but never is it lost.

although sex was not a part of many of these loves, it is a glimpse of words into the way that Antwan towner loves, and continues to love completely with no excuse or shame.
this book puts into words that which many people think, but have never said.


ROSE BOY
you are afraid of something you know nothing about.

I am not afraid of you attempting to break something you did not create.

I am not afraid of your attempts to break something that cannot be broken.

if you try your strengths with me I will match the with my power
and kill you
with kindness and gentleness,
in the name of peace, and harmony.

I will show you something you have never seen or heard of-
because fear and God do not occupy the same space.

you deal with the physical,
I deal with the invisible,
and when you look around
you will notice there is more of that than you can see.
more than enough
to crush mountains
and men.


Etrnal sunshine of the spotless mind

No sense in being coy.
"Constantly talking isn't necessarily the same as communicating."

This is probably the most beautiful line I have ever heard in a script.
There are many things I wish I could say, especially since I feel that I will not be around long.
Life is so short, but sometimes emotions are so long! They seem to span out further than comprehension, beyond time and space, and at times take precidence over current circumstances. And at other times, emotions seem to be quick and meaningless. Hindsight seems perfect and forsight seems even better at these moments.
Either way, I wish I could communnicate in the current time and space without worrying what the others will think.
I yearn for acceptance but self expression seems to take a back seat to this vehicle of time and space. Why is that I wonder?

The truth is like silver.
So many prefer gold.

There is a girl that I would like to tell: "even though you might be afraid of communicating with me on a deeper level, or on a romantic tone, once again, and your reasons for being afraid might be valid, from this day forward, I will give you no more reasons to worry about that."

But in this time and space, she won't believe that.

There is another girl I would like to say: "you are a piece of shit to me; and my reason is: your a liar; and I never lied to you."
But in this time and space, it wouldn't matter because her denial has placed her in victim mode.

There is another girl that I would tell: " I really tried, and I know you tried too, but either we didn't try hard enough or time and space just would not allow. "

But for me to say these things would be unpopular, uncooth, politically incorect and so forth.

Today is a great day, choose joy.
While on earth, please remember "Constantly talking isn't necessarily the same as communicating."

Communication is a gift.
It is not to be confused with talking, emotional outbursts, fear, or poor actions.
Communication is the result of expression.

There will come a time very soon where all space and time will be in perfect alignment for every individual at the same moment. Thos is simply unimaginable. But it is true. The perfect time to communicate will be at hand- every single thought of expression will be perfectly apropriate and easily expressed.

-Antwan towner.